Tag Archives: Sandwich Generation

Sandwich Generation Woes

A funny thing has happened in the United State over the past 50 years, which on the surface is good, but for a growing segment of the population is adding an additional stress in their life. Due in a large part to vast improvements in medicines and treatment, the median life expectancy has been steadily increasing, adding about one half year of life expectancy to the population ever two years. So, in 1959 the median life expectancy was under 70, now, it is 83.  At the same time, Americans on average have been holding offer getting married and starting a family well into the late twenties or early thirties.  As a result, the generational gap between grandparents and grandkids has grown from 20 years to now 30.

Elder care services are becoming an ever-increasing need as baby boomers continue to retire at an alarming rate. Combining the fact that the elderly are living longer, and individuals are holding off having children until they are older, a new dilemma has developed for individuals between 38 and 55. Many of these adults are becoming part of the what is referred to the “sandwich” generation. This is where an adult has to not only take care of their children, but one, two, three or even four parents dispersed across the country which they are also taking care of.

Accounting to a 2013 Pew Research report, nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s and 50s have a parent age 65 or older and are either raising a young child or financially supporting a grown child (age 18 or older). And about one-in-seven middle-aged adults (15%) are providing financial support to both an aging parent and a child.  Combine the fact that most adults in America do not live within 100 miles of their aging parents, it becomes obvious that this trend is adding stress to when elderly parents get ill or need care.

As a fallout of this growing trend, when the parents of a working adult become ill or need assistance, presently that working adult child will need to leave and take extended time away from work to deal with the situation.  The average time away is one week, and sometimes stretches into three weeks! In most cases, these individuals will likely have to continue to visit their aging parents for extended periods of time for the next 5 to 15 years.

The reason why individuals have to take time off, is that up until now, there was no “on-line” way to get reliable geriatric care. As stated earlier, most adult children do not reside close to their aging parents, and as such, have to schedule time to travel in order to arraign for care from a private duty agency, which includes interviewing the agencies, developing a care plan, and signing contracts.

Not only is there an impact on work, there is also a financial impact on these adults. According to a recent AARP study, 30 percent of family caregivers dip into their personal savings to cover long-term care costs, 16 percent reduce contributions to their retirement accounts, and about half cut back on leisure spending in order to help take care of their parents.

The tough reality is that many families are not rich enough to afford the staggering cost of private duty long-term care. Yet at the same time, they do not qualify for Medicaid, a health care program for low-income and disabled adults. So, it is nice to have a lower cost alternative to the high priced private duty agencies, that also delivers a superior service like Well Beyond Care.

About Well Beyond Care
Well Beyond Care is the only company that teaches families and individuals how to find and manage affordable non-medical in-home care, while solving the chronic problems of caregiver truancy and turnover through the web application, WellBeyondCare.com.  The Company’s platform combines the power of the internet with the personal touch of nurses to offer families a pathway to transitional care, allowing our elderly parents to safely age-in-place. Their solution lowers stress in hiring a caregiver and saves families tens of thousands of dollars per year in care costs.

 

Think you will never be a Caregiver? Ask your parents

Our aging parents sometimes have unmet expectations of their children, like wanting them to become doctors, or visiting and corresponding more, and in an ever growing situations, taking care of them in old age.

But when the need for our aging parents to get care and their adult children are not around, this can be disastrous for all parties, both emotionally and financially.  Many times, adult children are still taking care of their own kids, and their parents are left with no one to help them around the house or bring them to doctors. This “sandwich generation” is when adult children are taking care of both their children and their parents. In more and more cases, adult children are saving less for their futures as they help pay for their parents’ care and, in a few scenarios, may cut back on work hours or leave a job altogether.  In the worse case scenario,  discussions about what to do with mom or dad when they need care now or in the future go  undiscussed until it is too late.  Way too often, aging parents just assume that their adult children will take care of them and their needs, often thinking that one will move in with then in their twilight years.

According to a survey conducted by Bay Alarm Medical, more than 55% of parents anticipate their children will be the ones caring for them, either physically or financially, as they age. Unfortunately, most adult children do not agreed with that notion, or know that this is what their parents are thinking. In some areas, like the Midwest, only 36% of people felt children were obligated to care for their aging parents. Participants in other regions of the U.S. were much more likely to say they felt an obligation to caring for their parents in their old age. Parents are three and a half times more likely to lean on their daughters (and expect that of them) than their sons.  According to a 2006 study on mothers’ expectations of caregiving by their children,  and usually rely on the children they feel are closest emotionally.  To counter that finding, at Well Beyond Care, we have found that 80% of the adult children using our service as the care administrator and paying for the service, are male.

Unfortunately, most families do not discuss caregiving needs, nor most money topics in genreal, because they are so uncomfortable, personal or private. Not only do our aging parents keep their finances hidden, but they sometimes forget or avoid, or just don’t know how, to tell their children what they expect in their old age. The consequences could be a disappointed parent, or one without the proper plan to fund their care, or even worse, a parent who needs care and can not get it.

To the consternation of  adult children, they end up bearing the brunt financially if they become their parents’ caregiver without planning. The children may not pursue the careers they want because they have to move back home, or they forego putting more money into a retirement account because they think they willl need liquidity for when their parents fall ill.

Communication is vital between the generations in terms of caregiving, estate planning and myriad other reasons and goes a long way to help both generations plan and live without regrets.  Begin by getting the entire family together (or at least those most important to planning) and come up with a list of questions or concerns, such as who will provide physical care, do household chores or pay bills. Because this is such an emotionally charged subject (people don’t normally like talking about their declining physical or mental state), children have to be especially patient and empathetic toward their parents, and give them room to get angry when they bring up difficult observations, such as impaired driving abilities. If parents keep resisting the conversation, be persistent and bring it up as many times as necessary.

The good news is this that most adult children tend to step up to the plate, even if it is a stressful situation. Of all the 2,000 adult children surveyed in a Merrill Lynch and Age Wave report, 100% said they support their loved ones emotionally and socially, followed by 92% said they provide household support, 84% who said medical support and 64% who said physical care. Another 92% said they provide financial assistance, such as paying the bills, handling insurance claims and cutting back on their own expenses or dipping into their own savings accounts. What is beneficial, is that if a family is unable to move back home, Well Beyond Care can supply a service that saves on average $10,000 to $30,000 over private duty care, and allows management of the care plan from anywhere in the world.

About Well Beyond Care
Well Beyond Care is the only company that teaches families and individuals how to find and manage affordable non-medical in-home care, while solving the chronic problems of caregiver truancy and turnover through the web application, WellBeyondCare.com.  The Company’s platform combines the power of the internet with the personal touch of nurses to offer families a pathway to transitional care, allowing our elderly parents to safely age-in-place. Their solution lowers stress in hiring a caregiver and saves families tens of thousands of dollars per year in care costs.